Wimps Still Suffering From "Wiiitis"

The mainstream media scare tactics continue, as CNN/Reuters report that Dr. Julio Bonis, family physician, has self-diagnosed himself with the affliction "Wiiitis." Cause? Playing Wii Sports while being a flabby, soft-armed milquetoast.

He warned in a letter to the New England Journal of Medicine that Wiiitis is "probably an underdiagnosed condition" but calmed fears that it can be treated by "ibuprofen for one week, as well as complete abstinence from playing Wii video games." Bonis also warned of future cases of the condition based on unexpected waggle motions causing different types of muscle strain.